this is a great frickin year... So far I lost a job that well suited for me(besides the morning commute) amid great horrible drama, and on 6 February 2007 I was forced to put my cat Bookey to sleep. So how am I getitng through this:
#1: blame the animal hospital for causing my present grief and stress.
I noticed he wasn't doing so hot a day or two before, I was even spooning water in his mouth cos Bookey wasn't drinking anything. So I took him to the first vet where she thought she felt a mass in his liver(=possibly/most likely cancer). He was also dehydrated and his body temp was below normal. I'm smart enough to hear that someone's felt a mass somewhere on my cat and know that that can't be good news at all, but, trying to stay behind the gun and not jump in front of it, I asked her what she reccomended.
Of course Bookey was obviously very sick, and she was straight with me, having him put down as a logical option, along with possible places he could be taken to diagnose whatever it is. I really didn't want to write his death sentence without knowing if it was possible he could get better, so I took him somewhere else where they could do a sonogram or x-ray or something.
The next place took him back, without me able t ogo with him, examined him, a doc came back out, and said they would like to check him in immediately cos he was so sick. Then they came out with a "care plan" for him - the bill of how much it would cost for them to figure out what was wrong with him.
Here, is where I start blame... animal care, expectedly, can get very expensive, and Bookey's care plan came to more than $2100, to which the DEPOSIT to start his treatment was $2100. There was no partial payment, lower deposit, nothing really, just give us $2100 now if u want your cat to live.
So, after basically either having the choice of bringing him home and watching him suffer and pass away maybe painfully, or letting him go right then, I got my sis to tell them that he'd be euthanized.
#2: blame the hospital
I was/am having equal trouble with losing one of my cats forever and making a choice to end his life that very day. At the first place I stalled and kept trying to ask in a lot of different ways, what do u reccomend? or what are my options again, cos I didnt want to come to
that conclusion, even tho that was always the likely outcome.
And at the second place, I sat with my sister in the lobby trying not to break down in tears because everyone else's pet that was in there was gonna come out again. I was in there for like 30 minutes not saying anything cos I couldn't say in direct words to put him to sleep, or euthanize or anything like that, I mostly just said well I don't have another choice do I?
So, Bookey is gone...
#3: deal with Ashlee
Ashlee is his mother. The mom tragically outlived her son, sad. So far, I've set out the carrier with a blanket they had him on, and the pillow case and a towel around, and the same blankets are on my floor that they always lay on. Somehow it makes sense to leave his scent around as much as possible, I think it'll help, especially once she realizes that he's not coming back.
She came out when I came home that nite, and kinda searched around for him a bit, smelled the carrier a lot. Last nite I noticed she was sleeping in it, the day before she layed on the towel I put by the table. Last nite she also started meowing at nite, kinda the mother cry.
I'm hoping Ashlee can get through this, cos she's old and thin already, at least let the seasons change before I lose her too.